“If you are in a relationship and perhaps you sit down with a counsellor or mentor and they ask you what you don’t like about your potential spouse or what you will like them to improve on, and you say “I love EVERYTHING about him/her, or he/she is just perfect”, I don’t want to call you a liar but… Please know that its NOT a sin to want that person to improve in some areas or change for the better. It’s NOT a sin to not really like some of their shortcomings or flaws.
Trust me, they won’t like everything about you either and that’s absolutely OK
You are both unique individuals coming from different backgrounds and experiences in life so you CANNOT see EVERYTHING the same way and you CANNOT be EXACTLY the same. What you should do is accept those shortcomings/flaws/differences; discuss them and help each other improve on them instead of pretending as though they don’t exist or that he/she is a saint
That’s part of the problem today; many people pretend during the courtship and begin to show their irritations and frustrations in the marriage which causes additional unnecessary problems. He may be Prince Charming but accept that he will still annoy you sometimes. She may be like mother Theresa but she will still offend you sometimes. Marriage is all about merging two experiences and personalities together and that is hard work but absolutely doable
But if the two of you are real with each other and accept truths that you may not really like, that is the starting point. If you are told that you have a temper for example, instead of getting emotional or defensive, see it from their perspective and begin to work on yourself. Allow adequate room for honesty and openness with each other from the beginning. Even in marriage, you will still keep learning and growing but know that you will not get married to an angel as long as you are on the earth so BE REAL
Let them show you their true self before marriage so you can discuss and decide if you want to carry on, instead of ignoring issues.
Don’t paint a picture that doesn’t exist and don’t deceive yourself. Otherwise heavy frustrations will await you in marriage.
Be wise” Kemi Oyedepo #marriage #light #wisdom