20 Don’ts for ladies when you just meet a new Man

Relationship expert, Joro Olomufin dropped this on Instagram.

My comments are in red.

1 Don’t take your friends along with you when he invites you on a date

Please don’t! Not just because they would order plenty food and finish his money, one desperate friend could scribble her phone number on a serviette and chook it in his pocket. 

2 Don’t go to his house unannounced

In fact, even if he is your boyfriend gan-gan, don’t go unannounced. 

You won’t find him alone.

He could go all biblical and quote “it is not good for a man to be alone.

3 Don’t ask him for money

He probably would offer you, anyway.

If he doesn’t, tulemu!

4 Don’t compare him to your ex or talk about your ex, only if he requests

Even if he requests, say good stuff and keep kwayet!

5 Don’t get drunk on your first outing with him

What if he’s not your specs and you just don’t care about making a good impression?

Biko, drink your fill!

6  Don’t wear see through or exposing outfits on your first outings

Joro, this is 2017. 

He needs to have an idea what he would be getting. show a bit of what your mama gave you.

Wear a lycra dress that fits kpakpankpam. Show small cleavage. Very small.

7 Don’t bore him with all your family or personal issues ( my house caught fire, my AC is not working, my rent is due)

Yeah. Talk about the weather, whistle blowing, Bobrisky and Aso Rock related scandals.

8 Don’t talk about Marriage on a first date

LMAO; Don’t talk about marriage till the wedding day kpahkpah.

9 Don’t pry about the size of his pocket, his earnings or the car he drives ( Do you drive a G wagon ? Are you a millionaire?)

Did she trek to the date? 

10 Don’t be too quick to post his picture on Instagram, Facebook, (social media) etc.

Very tempting to do that. To avoid deleting same, advise yourself sensibly.

11 Don’t go out without “vex money” or a simple transport fare “bailout” money

ATM, UBER, TAXIFY. Internet age is bae!

12 Don’t lie you’re a virgin and don’t lie about your age (Some ladies say they’re 22 when they’re 29)

Except you need deliverance from self delusion and acute paranoia.

13 Don’t order what you don’t know how to eat or you’re allergic to all because you’re forming sophisticated

Order isiewu and akpokavin. Thank me later!

14 Don’t ask to meet his Mother or Father. Only if he suggests

Don’t kneel down to greet his mum. She would know you are faking because her daughters don’t greet her like that and she knows you don’t greet even your mother’s elder sister that way either. 

Simply bend your knees though. Smile widely. Add ma, or mummy.

Don’t use ‘momsie’ or ‘maleh’ o.

15 Don’t be rude or nasty to the waiter or waitress just because you want To impress or be a Diva

And if he, himself is rude to the waiter over nothing really, run!!! That’s a massive red flag!

16 Don’t talk to him about your body count or guys you’ve slept with. YOUR STANDARD / DEFAULT body count is (2) guys

Hehehehe…’2 guys’ is just tidy!

Semi virgin.

17 Don’t form British or American accent or any form of accent you can’t keep up with

Patua nko? French accent is romantic too.

Try those. He can’t forget you.

18 Don’t think you’re an automatic girlfriend after the first Sexual Encounter

Ojiemin! Booty call eeehh!!!

19 When your friends call you on a date don’t describe him in a derogatory manner eg I’m with that guy who has Bastard Money

Bastard money? Come on! He would be flattered. 

20 Don’t start leaving clothes and tooth brush stylishly at his place

Whispers: Leave strands of your human hair everywhere. 

Brush that Peruvian weave in every room in that apartment. 

Best way to brand a man’s home.

For your own good, please, ignore my opinions.

I am just having fun.

Listen to Joro.

He is the expert.

Okay, bye!

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